CAUTION - NEW POST AHEAD
That's it, I quit. I'm resigning from our society. Maybe seceding is a better term. I'm going to form my own separate society. Want to know why? I'll tell you...here's a list
1. Monopoly Electronic Banking Edition - This new battery powered wonder replaces the beloved rainbow of paper Monopoly money with...DEBIT CARDS! I shit you not, it comes with a little mini card reader and debit cards. The "banker" simply key in the property amount (now in the tens of millions - inflation, ya know) and swipe your card. No muss, no fuss, no MATH, no THOUGHT. Who didn't practice making change by being the family banker? Anyone not secretly treasure those orange big-money bills? No wonder every pimply fast-food cashier needs an online toush screen register to make change and our banking system is in ruins. For GOD'S SAKE people, don't rob the next generation of ANY CHANCE to master simple math! Oh, and just so you can pick ahead of time, the player pieces now include a dog in a handbag, a Segway, and a flat screen TV.
2. The Decline of Western Education. The generation currently graduating high school is the FIRST EVER to have a smaller percentage earn diplomas than the preceding generation. I don't want to scare you off by turning this into a word problem, so I'll summarize. For the first time in American history, we are measurably (in the scientific sense) getting DUMBER. You can skip all the granola-munching "a diploma doesn't equal intelligence" crap. It's bullshit, and deep down, you know it.
Secondly on this point, since 1997 there has been a 20% decrease in the number of BS degrees awarded in hard sciences (engineering, chemistry, physics,etc.) This means that we as a society have decided that warm, fuzzy learning like pet psychology and history, are more important than knowledge that allows you to MAKE things. Making things is fairly central in advancing as humans and having a stable economy. And that puts us at a distinct disadvantage against other societies that are working hard to teach all their little rug rats math and chemistry. Think about that. I'm sure I'm going to get some hate mail from all my liberal arts friends. Sorry, you guys are the exception. Really.
3. Paris Hilton. Okay, I really have nothing against her personally, hell, I've never even seen her video. But she has come to stand for our current obsession with status and image in place of substance and value. You can go ahead and add American Idol, Survivor, and almost every other reality show to that list. At some point, we gave up on really working on any sort of base value, and just settled for a quick paintjob and some chrome plating. Worse yet, we've begun to wear our stupidity and lack of any ability with PRIDE. Suddenly, it's okay to be inept and useless. Think about Paris's reality show and tell me I'm wrong. Look, people, if you can't do something useful here on Earth, QUIT BREATHING MY FREAKING AIR.
4. Politics. Despite my outlook on the new president-elect, I think the state of American politics is deplorable. It would qualify as laughable if it wasn't costing us the country. Look, if any executive had screwed up as bad as the people we put in charge over the last decade, we would have fired them and probably arrested them. At best, they would have gone out of business and ended up making incorrect change at a fast food restaurant. We trusted them to be educated and make the right choices for us all, but instead they've made choices that made quick-kill profits but turned a blind eye to the long term investment. Now there's lots of argument about how to fix everything, but nobody wants to talk about the road we took to get here. Seriously, when the Russians and the Canadians are pointing and laughing, how bad have we screwed the pooch?
Okay, that's the top four. I'll give you the others when I catch my breath.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
