Thursday, November 8

I'm the most talented biker I know -- or -- I think I need a new helmet

So, after much waiting, I finally got to go out on the urban ride in Macon. It was cold and turnout for the ride was a little low, only 5 riders. And they got to witness a fine sight. One that you should all be sorry you missed. I hit a tree. Hard. IN DOWNTOWN.

Okay, we were riding through a park near Mercer (I think) at a pretty good clip. I'd been hopping curbs, riding a few stairs, and generally having a whopping amount of fun. As we cut across the grass I see two Crepe Myrtle trees ahead of me, planted about six feet apart at a forty-five degree angle to my direction of travel. The branches were not quite touching, and were just tall enough to walk under. I figured it would be cool to switch back between them, so I accelerate a couple strokes and chicane through. The limbs were a little lower than I thought, so I ducked down pretty far and cleared them easily.

Now, Before we go any further, I want to take a minute to discuss proper decorative planting. Ask any gardener worth their potting soil how one should plant to maintain a natural look, and they'll tell you never to plant in even numbers. Always plant an odd number.

Can you see where this is going?

I charge out from between the TWO Myrtles, look up with a big smile and have time to think, "Well, shit, there's another tree." I remember my headlight clearly lighting up the twin trunks, so I was probably a bike length away, going maybe 10 or 12 mph. My only reaction is to throw my weight back, grab a BIG handful of disk brake and duck. Which worked out, kind of. I almost stop before my front tire hits the tree, but I think I probably would have gone over anyway as hard as I locked the brakes. Ass end rising, I slam the front of my helmet into the tree and drop the bike, but manage to remain on my feet, somewhat dazed. I take off my helmet (somewhat disheveled) to find Mike and Jeff staring at me mouths agape and eyes alight. Once they knew I was okay, boy, did they have a good laugh. Which is exactly what I would have done. To quote Jeff, if you do an endo correctly, they can see both your asshole and your bottom bracket. He said I was doing fine.

The bike was fine, the helmet's a little dented, and my neck's a little sore. But I rode the rest of the tour with no problem.

Well, I needed a new helmet anyway......off to surf the Performance Bike site......

5 comments:

GoFastPops said...

You should know that was expected; whenever a mountain biker leaves a trail, the first thing he does is hit a tree. Go back to Thomson, you're safer there.

Kathleen said...

Jeez, dude....it's dangerous out there. I agree with Pops: Stick to Thomson where it's safer now that Katastrophe Hill has been rerouted because you know there are never bad falls out there :::cough:::

Dave said...

Well, kids, on closer inspection, not only does the helmet have a nice flat spot on the front, the foam is cracked all the way through in the front. Time to replace it, fo sho.

Unknown said...

The really sad part is that Kim was freaking out about "endoing" on the urban rides. And I told her no one ever endoes on the urban ride! Then Dave does it!

Keep on coming out Dave...we'll get those numbers back up and we'll skirt around the trees!

Dave said...

And to think just before that I was offering to help her with curbs. She must be thinking "Glad I didn't listen to HIS advice..."

I plan to be back this week. Warn the trees.