Crikey that's a big snake

So, having been gone a week, I had to do some lawn work. With as much rain as we've been getting, mowing weekly seems to be the name of the game, at least for the front yard. After mowing, spraying some herbicide and weed slaying, I took a stab at cleaning up my garage a little. As part of the process I took the yard tools that had collected in the corner and moved them back out to the storage shed.

Let me explain about the shed. This is one of those little 8x8, prebuilt sheds that are kind of barn shaped. You can buy them at most of the major home improvement chains. This particular shed was purchased by the previous homeowner to store his yard stuff in. There are assorted chemicals, grass seed, and some small tools and stuff out there. I'm not sure what all may be there, because I've never done more than open the front door and throw a rake or two in. It seemed fairly mouse infested, and cleaning it out was a pretty low priority. It's probably been six months since I opened it.

So today when I carried the garden hoe, 2 shovels and rake out, I was in full cleaning mode. Looking around the shed from safely outside, I noticed an open cardboard box sitting in the top of a two-wheeled push spreader full of grass seed in the back corner away from the door. Sticking out through the hole in the box was some shredded pieces of trashbag. Now, I'm thinking, If I was a mouse I'd be camped out in that box and setting up housekeeping. Nice and cozy, right on top of the buffet. So, being the kind of guy I am, I decide to whack the box with the garden hoe and scatter the mice.

Whack. Box rocks up on one side. Nothing.

Whack harder. Still nothing. That box seems heavier than I expected. Hmm....

So I lean in to the shed a little where I can see into one of the holes a little better. Wow that trashbag looks like.....scales.....

Is that a SNAKE??!!

No, he'd have bailed out after I shook it....I think. Well, I'm at the other end of a garden hoe, maybe I can pull the top of the box toward me and look in.

Holy CRAP, that's a SNAKE!!! **drop box**

man, the coils on that thing had to be two-and-a-half inches thick.....that makes him four feet or better, depending on what type of snake....

What kind was he? That's a good question... Hmm...Very dark, but I think I saw a pattern....That could be a black snake...or something poisonous.....crap. If it's a four-foot-plus poisonous snake, I'm going to have to figure out a way to kill it, for my safety and my dogs'. I wonder what a shotgun would sound like inside that shed. This could get messy. I'm going to have to look again. Ehhh, crap.

Okay, tilt the box, gently....little more....Okay, dark black with just a hint of a pattern, that's a black snake. Good, non poisonous, but that means at 2.5" thick, he's pushing six feet long. or better.

That's a lot of snake. And he's looking at me. Um, .... hello. Yep, oval head, non poisonous. Seems pretty calm as much as I've harassed him. Eyes are clouded, he must be about to shed his skin, so he's laying low.

Okay big fella, smile for the camera.....

Now, you stay in there and eat all the mice you want. But stay out of my garage, mister. Please.